Thursday, May 12, 2011

The End

Ms. Pigg flipped the egg on the pan as she wiped the sleepy shit from her eyelids, blew her nose and hocked a loogy. She never felt so good after all that was over and as she was swallowing her last bite of cheesy egg. Ms. Pigg prepares for a day out in the neighborhood as she puts on her summer clothes and greases up her Sousaphone valves. Ms. Pigg feels a single coin tumbling around in her back left pocket. She digs it out, and its a shiny new penny. She thought to herself, "The best place for this would be the bottom of the fountain on Calloway Blvd." So Ms. Pigg grabs her Sousa and heads to the fountain.
"What the hell?!?!" screams Ms. Pigg, "Why is Ms. Monagan on the bottom face down on the pavement and not breathing?!? Somebody has got to take her the hospital or the funeral home because it for damn sure isn't my job." So Ms. Pigg walked away from the scene and headed to the fountain where a police officer is nearby. This is perfect, because now Ms. Pigg can tell the cop that Ms. Monagan is either dead or putting on a damn good act.
Once there Ms. Pigg waves to the smoking policeman, puts her Sousa down for a minute to rest her back, and launches the penny into the fountain throwing it backwards over her right shoulder for good luck. The policeman sure was enjoying that cigarette because once he was finished on his last puff he tossed it into the street and watched the street sweeper suck it up.
Ms. Pigg notices some neighbors come up from the subway tunnel, particularly Jude C. Wright. Ms. Pigg laughs her ass off when Jude stumbles on the steps as his eyes almost pop out of his head once he see's the fountain is working.
Aaron Pernie has the same surprised look on his face that Jude did, but he is not moving. Jude is standing dead still in the center of the basketball court staring at the fountain. Ms. Pigg does not understand the sudden importance of the fountain and why everybody is staring at it like a fat kid does to a ice cream menu.
This is a perfect place for Ms. Pigg to set up her Sousaphone and play some tunes for her neighbors, and make some spare change. She knows that everybody is going to talk about the fountain, or the death of Ms. Monaghan.
After a long 12 hours by the fountain, Ms. Pigg saw almost everybody that lived in Watershed Heights. It was now midnight and Ms. Pigg's lips were starting to bleed from so much playing. As she was walking slowly home, Ms. Pigg saw two more people lying face down on the ground. Remus and Josh were lying next to each other with a dozen policeman looking down from the top of Watershed Heights apartment. There was blood everywhere, and Ms. Pigg was starting to freak out about her neighbors jumping off the eight story building. So to get her mind off the eventful day, Ms. Pigg shot up some Heroin. Ms. Pigg didn't want to remember this day ever again, so she passed out on her soft mattress.

Saturday, May 7, 2011


Ms. Pigg lifted her nose up high in the air because there was a strong aroma of apple pie in the air. Everywhere she walked the smell followed her even in the elevator. So Ms. Pigg walked around with a full stomach from the greasy combo she ate earlier. After a half an hour she saw a mob of everybody in the town around the diner.
As Ms. Pigg walked closer to the diner the harder it was to move, but the stronger the smell of apple pie. It was especially harder for Ms. Pigg to walk through the crowd because she had a 30 pound Sousaphone on her back. Finally Ms. Pigg walked in and she saw a dark overcrowded diner.
Everybody was in line except for Billy Farsk, who was putting his walet back in his pocket and headed to the exit door. He was out in a hurry because nobody wanted to leave, but Ms. Pigg had to have a piece of that fresh apple pie that she's been smelling for the past hour. So Ms. Pigg had the best idea, she would provide the diner Sousaphone entertainment if she could get a piece of pie before the rest of crowd. The cashier agreed and let Ms. Pigg get a warm piece that was right out of the oven.
After swallowing the pie faster than you could spell "apple pie" Ms. Pigg went outside to play her Sousa. It was a beautiful day and Ms. Pigg had a big smile as she played and watched other happy neighbors leave the diner with a full stomach and smile also.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Diner Dash

Ms. Pigg was very hungry and was in the mood for a greasy burger-fry combo. Power-walking to the diner she played her Sousaphone on the way because she thought it would be good practice. After a quick walk she arrives at the diner, and brings her Sousaphone in the restaurant so she can keep an eye on it. Ms. Pigg sat next to Bianca Bonelli and watched her movements out of the corner of her eye. When the waiter approached he to take her order, she was taking forever. She was staring into space about something, possibly about the recent crazy events that have happened in Watershed Heights. She finally ordered a salad and water which is the exact opposite of what Ms. Pigg was going to get in terms of healthy choices.
Ms. Pigg ordered the greasy combo with a large chocolate shake to wash it all down. The food smelled like a burnt piece of toast, which is from burger that looks like a hockey puck. The food tasted pretty bad, but Ms. Pigg did not want the meal to go to waste so she put hot sauce all over her burger and fries. Ms. Pigg knows that hot sauce will make just about anything eatable. Ms. Pigg enjoys every bite of her new spiced up meal. After the last bite, Ms. Pigg licks her fingers at the end of her meal to make sure she gets every tasty greasy remains in her mouth. The waiter of the diner than gives her the check, but while he's doing that he explains, "the meal is on us, due to the hockey puck." Ms. Pigg was so happy because she didn't know how to pay for the meal anyways because she hasn't made any money in a while. All she had were a few quarters in her pocket. After getting out of the grease pit, Ms. Pigg gets her Sousa and plays a few tunes outside of the diner to make a few bucks for her next meal.

Friday, March 25, 2011


The fire display that Ms. Pigg has been watching for the past half hour died down, so she left the carnival with a smirk on her face and waved goodbye to Paul Neuman. Ms. Pigg saw a balled up 10$ bill in the gutter of the street while walking down Maple street. The smirk on her face grew into a smile that streched from ear to ear. Ms. Pigg was so happy because she could get some fresh milk and ramen for a late lunch. Ms. Pigg skipped over to Hop N' Shop and just as she was about to open the door two robbers pushed her out of the way with a ATM machine in in their hands. She tripped over herself and fell to the ground. Ms. Pigg gets up, wipes the dust out of her eyes and watches the two robbers take the atm machine that was once in the Stop n Shop in the direction of a F-150. Ms. Pigg was about to dial 911 to get help but then she noticed that Celi Thompson was right next to her dialing and redialing the same number, 911. But after a couple of tries of the line still busy, she gave up, and Ms. Pigg didn't think she would have any luck. Ms. Pigg thought that maybe since the F-150 is right next to the police station, if enough people make noise they would get caught. So Ms. Pigg walked back to her home to take a nap after a ramen lunch.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Ms. Pigg wiped the sleepy crap from her eyes with her brittle fingers and smelled something very foul in the air. She looked out her window to where the smell was coming from and there were flames and smoke coming out of a trailer that was in the carnival. Ms. Pigg was furious with the carnival because it took all the spare change she made from playing the Sousaphone. But since Ms. Pigg is a pyromaniac she decided to go back to the carnival to get a better view of the flames.
Ms. Pigg passed through Paul Neuman and the ticket booth because she did not want the fire to die out before she got a chance to get up close with it. Ms. Pigg waved at Paul and he waved back with a smile on his face.
Ms. Pigg sat on a bench by the trailer to watch the carnival burn down right before her eyes. She just sat back, relaxed and enjoyed the show of everybody running around frantically trying to figure out how to extinguish the fire.

Monday, March 21, 2011


Ms. Pigg looked cleaner than car that just came out of the car wash in her washed clothes. She puts away her Sousaphone in her room because her lips are shot, and rumor has it that there is a carnival in town, so Ms. Pigg walks over to the vacant lot to check it out. Ms. Pigg's favorite ride at a Carnival is the Bumper Cars, because she loves getting whip-lashed left and right. Ms. Pigg was pissed off though when she saw the ride had been closed because some idiots, Agnes Monaghan and a Clown decided to have a lunch break in the cars and they would not get out. I guess they were in love or something so Ms. Pigg just walked away from the situation with steam flying out of her red ears and hot head. She was so mad because there was nothing to do about it since no employees seemed to be running that specific ride.
Ms. Pigg walks up to a booth where the objective is to get 3 rings and land them on a Coke bottle. After spending 20 dollars on the game, her 7th game was more lucky for Ms. Pigg. Ms. Pigg landed all three rings on the same bottle and she was ecstatic, but the prizes were not hanging up on a wall like they would at a normal carnival. No, this booth had prizes of live animals, tattoo's, crack pipes, and other weird shit. So Ms. Pigg picked out the last living frog in the mini pool and she stuck it in her pocket. Ms. Pigg saved that frog because if she didn't get that frog out it was going to die like the others lying in the pool. Ms. Pigg had the brightest idea, and she was also broke from all the money spent on that one stupid game. On the way home Ms. Pigg swiftly walks through the park and takes out the frog in her pocket and lets it loose near the pond. The frog hops off, and Ms. Pigg has never felt a more accomplishing feeling than this. She wipes the tears off her long face and heads home for a peaceful nap.

Ms. Pigg

Ms. Pigg has not changed her clothes once in the past couple of weeks so she decides it is time to wash them. She does not have a washing machine in her apartment because she can not afford one. So Ms. Pigg goes across the street in the laundry mat. She walks in, puts her clothes in the washer, and watches her clothes spin in circle. Ms. Pigg gets bored immediately and it is uncomfortably humid inside the laundromat so she goes back to her room to get her Sousaphone and go for a walk.
Ms. Pigg walks through the park and just when she thought she would never see anything more out-of-place than Leeroy Jenkins, a guy in a red robe is passing by with his head down. He is in very bad shape, and he also smells really bad. So M.s Pigg makes the suggestion to wash the red robe he is wearing because it has more stains on it than a baby's bib.
Ms. Pigg's fingers are starting to freeze and her back is starting to ache from carrying the Sousa on the walk in the cold, so she heads back to the laundromat to put her clothes in the dryer. On the way back Ms. Pigg makes eye contact with Leeroy and they walk together to the laundromat. Ms. Pigg gives Leeroy a hug when she's at the entrance of the laundromat as a thank you for the company and it has also been a couple of weeks since they have been together. So Ms. Pigg walks back into the humid hell hole, puts her clothes in the dryer and falls into a trance of the clothes spinning around in circle.